The threesome.
It sounds somewhat intriguing, yet intimidating because you now have twice as many people to impress.
Sex is great, but is two really better than one?
The porn industry essentially molds itself around threesomes. The more, the merrier is practically the slogan. Keep in mind, that's porn; most of these people would have sex with a lawn chair if a paycheck was involved. As for the rest of us, this three-way action may take a bit more thought.
Initiating the act should be done only after setting some ground rules, if you are indeed in a relationship with one of the two participants. The potential for jealousy is high for each person involved, but obviously more so if two out of three are in a relationship and whether it's two guys one girl, the other way around, three chicks or three dudes, the attention should be spread as evenly as possible.
The idea, guys, I'm sorry to say, isn't just to have two girls pleasuring you six ways from Sunday. The point of a threesome is to have everyone involved and enjoying themselves.
There are some obvious benefits to having sex with more than one person at the same time. Think of the near-sensory overload. If you're the guy living the fantasy of two girls at once, then congrats, you've gone where many men won't have the opportunity. Enjoy it while you can. Men are by nature very visual and for most the more visual stimulation the hotter the situation.
However, guys, if the two ladies living out your fantasy start paying more attention to each other than to you don't just sit there pouting; you've got two hands and a mouth, use them.
Most straight men get a little squeamish about the two guys, one girl set up. You do need to be aware that while you might only be interested in the woman, one way or another you are going to wind up inadvertently touching that other guy and it would be wise to have a game plan.
This all plays into the age-old stigma that girls can be intimate with each other and there doesn't have to be anything gay about it, while guys can't even take a peek at each other in the gym shower without freaking about their sexuality.
There are options to keep your distance. For example, the girl can orally pleasure one guy while another penetrates her. There isn't rule that says you have to be just an inch from each other, if you know what I mean.
As for the ladies, don't be stupid and think that letting another girl into your bedroom/relationship won't end up driving you insane. This is a situation in which you almost always want to be the only girl in the mix, the third wheel or you want to set down some make or break rules for where and how much your man is allowed to go.
Guys, if you're doing this with your girlfriend or wife, be prepared to have her lay down the law that you are not allowed to be inside the other woman, no ifs, ands or buts. If your girl feels strongly, the act of penetration may need to be reserved only for her.
From the female perspective, having sex with two guys at the same time is no doubt an exciting idea. If you've ever incorporated vibrators or dildos into sex, then you've had a bit of a preview. Ladies, don't get wasted thinking it will soothe any and all inhibitions you may have; a drink may help to ease you into the concept, but if you're smashed, you'll miss out on the sensory experience.
Most of all, be smart about it. If your significant other is pushing you to do this and its something you are not the least bit into or comfortable with, then tell him/her to deal with it.
New positions, some kink or a little porn are one thing and it's nice to suggest and try exciting and different things with someone with whom you are comfortable. However inviting a third party into your sex life is another level and you shouldn't do it if you know you don't want to. You're supposed to really, really enjoy it and if you're not, then that defeats the entire point of having a threesome in the first place.
Any partner that pushes you to do a threesome after you've said no is completely selfish and needs to get a grip; you need to get a new partner. For those that do venture down this route, I hope you do it wisely, safely and pleasingly.
No, the OnMilwaukee.com sex columnist's real name is not Sarah Foster. (Foster is the model/actress that played an ex-lover of Vincent Chase in the first season of "Entourage.") In reality, our sex columnist is a Wisconsin native with a degree in journalism and a knack for getting people to talk to her.
Sarah never considered herself an "above average" listener. Others, however, seem to think differently. Perhaps she has a sympathetic tone or expression that compels people to share their lives and secrets with her despite how little they know her. Everyone from the girl that does her hair to people in line at the grocery store routinely spill the details of their lives and relationships to Sarah, unprompted but typically not unwanted. It’s strange to her that people would do this, but she doesn’t mind. Sarah likes that she can give advice even if it is to complete strangers.
So why the pseudonym? Simple. People tell Sarah these things because for some reason they trust her. They believe she cares and therefore will keep their secrets in a locked vault the same way a best friend or therapist would. Sarah won't name names, but that vault is now unlocked.
