By Matt Mueller Culture Editor Published Feb 14, 2018 at 12:56 PM

You've given the chocolates, flowers and giant teddy bears. You've cooked the breakfast in bed ... and then gone on an emergency McDonald's run after you burned it all to an edible black crisp. You've booked the romantic dinner, and you've sent the sweet and sexy texts while you wait through the work day.

Now comes the most important part of the modern Valentine's Day experience: streaming a movie with your significant other (or "Netflix and chilling" as the kids used to say, but now reserve only for unhip adults three years behind the times).

But what movies should you pick to keep the romantic heat from your candlelight meal burning bright? And what movies should you avoid like the garlic and bean dish on the restaurant's menu? Here's a quick snapshot of seven rom-coms and cinematic love stories that'll make your heart flutter this Valentine's Day – and seven streamable selections that'll just give you a heart attack (because lord knows those little preview pictures on the site and Netflix's genre recommendations don't help).

The good

"The Big Sick"

OK, stick with me on this one, because this plot synopsis is going to progressively sound like the worst rom-com ever made: A Pakistani comedian and white woman fall in love, only to breakup because of his family's strict cultural traditions and then also the woman falls deathly ill and has to be placed in a medically-induced coma while her family and former flame watch on in confused horror. ROMANCE! But wait, because it also features the best 9/11 joke ever put on screen? That's not really helping my cause ... 

Yet in an incredible balancing act of humor and real heart, as our lead grows up (and grows a bond with his lost love's parents, played by Ray Romano and an Oscar-snubbed Holly Hunter), all of that testy family, relationship and cultural drama comes together to become one of the most charming and authentic rom-coms in recent years. And that authenticity probably comes from the fact that it's all amazingly true, with Oscar-nominated screenwriters Kumail Nanjiani ("Silicon Valley") and Emily Gordon adapting their real-life meet-not-so-cute for the big screen. 

Watch it, and you too will know the joy of this sweet, sincere romantic comedy – and the pain of trying to recommend it to others without sounding like a crazy person. (Available on Amazon Prime)

"Definitely, Maybe"

"Deadpool" wound up as the perfectly profane vehicle for Ryan Reynolds peculiar brand of irreverent, handsomely mischievous charm. Seven years earlier, however, Hollywood got close to cracking the Canadian's code to stardom with the charming rom-com "Definitely, Maybe," about an ambitious political consultant talking his young daughter (Abigail Breslin) through how he met her mother – as well as all the other loves in his life, turning the whole thing into an intriguing mystery.

Sure, it sounds a lot like a certain popular CBS sitcom, but Reynolds is a lot more charismatic and fun than Ted Mosby. Plus you don't have time to stream a nine seasons of television in a single night. Do "Definitely, Maybe" instead, which compacts the sweetest and funniest aspects of that clever concept into less than two hours – and with a MUCH better ending, too.

"Carol"

Warning: Todd Haynes' 2015 Oscar-nominated romance will probably break your heart. But you will swoon all the way there, thanks to the barely spoken but screamingly potent chemistry between doomed '50s lesbian lovers Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, the beautiful visuals painting the romance and the sumptuous score from Carter Burwell. And in case you've already seen "Carol," here's a bonus gay romance recommendation: 2017's "Princess Cyd," which is like if recent Best Picture nominees "Lady Bird" and "Call Me By Your Name" had a child together.

"Bridget Jones’ Diary"

A classic so charming that even the Oscars had to acknowledge comedy for once, nominating star Renee Zellweger for Best Actress in 2002, this modern day retelling of "Pride and Prejudice" is still a winner – partly because of Zellweger's bright star turn, partly because anything starring every mom's dream boyfriend Colin Firth is swoon-worthy and partly because screenwriter Richard Curtis is generally a master at calculating just the right amount of comedy and romantic schmaltz for his movies.

Take for instance "Love Actually," which is also available on Netflix and perfect for Valentine's Day ... minus the part with Rick Grimes creepily trying to steal Keira Knightley away. And minus the emotional devastating Emma Thompson storyline. And minus that one guy's kinda gross Wisconsin trip. Wait, why do we like this movie again?

"While You Were Sleeping"

On paper, the plot of 1995's "While You Were Sleeping" sounds actually pretty creepy: A public transit employee poses as a handsome comatose man's fiancee after rescuing him, then falls for his brother in the middle of this whole big lie. It's all very odd – and rom-coms about lies are generally the worst. But even more odd is how well this Sandra Bullock '90s classic works. That's the power of chemistry in a romantic comedy; put two stars together (in this case, Bullock and Bill Pullman) with a charming repartee and surround them with solid character actors, and we'll swoon at anything. Huh ... so that explains "Love Actually" then.

"Breakfast at Tiffany’s"

Netflix is notoriously short on classic movies, but luckily one of its few blasts from the past is "Breakfast at Tiffany's," the cinematic romance that helped cement Audrey Hepburn as a cinematic star – as well as turn her into a future dorm room poster icon. And thankfully the movie – about the misadventures of a chipper NYC socialite, adapted from fellow art icon Truman Capote's book – still stands the test of time, deserving its place in film's hall of fame as a charming, breezy and swoony high-class love story. Well, minus the Mickey Rooney yellowface bits. Feel free to just fast-forward through those.

"What If"

*Puts on ESPN "30 for 30" voice* What if I told you there was a movies starring Harry Potter and Kylo Ren ... and nobody saw it. That's exactly what happened with "What If," a 2013 charming, just on the right side of quirky indie romantic comedy about a heartbroken guy (Daniel Radcliffe) falling in love with one of his best friends (Zoe Kazan, also the star of "Big Sick") while future space tyrant Adam Driver gives him delightfully poor relationship advice. It may sound like plenty of rom-coms you've seen before, but director Michael Dowse (the guy behind the hockey cult hit "Goon") knows that and fills the familiar story with genuinely funny moments, real-world complications instead of tired cliche contrivances and a clever overall script that lets its two leads spark. (Available on Amazon Prime)

Bonus recommendations: "Hitch," "Like Water for Chocolate," "Anna Karenina," "Emma" and "Begin Again"

The bad

"45 Years"

Newly added to Netflix, Andrew Haigh's "45 Years" is a terrific movie, serving as one of the best films from 2015 (a great year for movies that included the likes of "Mad Max: Fury Road," "Sicario" and "Magic Mike XXL"). I wish I could say watch it immediately ... but today is Valentine's Day, and my god, this drama, about a woman whose 45-year marriage to her loving husband is suddenly haunted by his past, would destroy the mood faster than a Taco Bell fart. Watch only if you want to end your special day of romance wondering if true love is a cruel lie! 

"It Follows"

Hey, maybe you don't want a big swoony romantic movie this Valentine's Day. Maybe you'd rather watch a good horror flick, one that gets you holding each other's hands tightly and giggly jumping together. Just don't pick the horror movie whose murderous villain is basically a phantom STD. It's a great film ... just not today.

"Gerald’s Game"

I'm no mind-reader, but this is an exact play-by-play of how your brain will process this Stephen King Netflix adaptation: "Oooh, kinky; a husband and wife, trying to reheat their marriage, decide to work some handcuffs into their romantic getaway. Oh wait, did he just die? Leaving her still cuffed to the bed? And now there's ghosts and demons and stuff? How's she going to get out of this? What's she doing with her hand? OH GOD WHY IS SHE DOING THAT TO HER HAND!?"

In short, spicing up one's love life hasn't gone this wrong since that time you forgot to wash your hands after eating those hot wings, and after this, the only sweaty evenings you'll be having will be of the cold and nightmarish variety.

"Teeth"

This 2007 indie horror comedy is about a young woman who discovers her vagina has teeth. I don't think I have to explain any further.

"Nymphomaniac"

Four combined hours of cinema called "Nymphomaniac"? Surely this must be a sexy adventure epic! *cut to four hours of uncomfortably graphic sex, surprise Shia LaBeouf appearances and a overall bleak view of humanity, complete with a cold and cruel ending, later* This was a mistake.

"Before Midnight"

Richard Linklater's "Before Midnight" is the perfect conclusion to Hollywood's most unexpected trilogy, taking the natural, easily swooning romance of "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset" into the lived-in love of adulthood – but also into the all-too-real emotional exhaustion and nervy tension of marriage. The perfect Valentine's Day alternative if you can't find an old VHS tape of your parents fighting.

"Oldboy"

If eating oysters is an aphrodisiac, then watching our revenge-minded lead eat a live octopus is an anti-aphrodisiac – and that's before we get to the brutal violence and soul-crushing incest in this beloved 2003 cult classic from South Korea. It's a good film, but if you're going to dive into director Chan-wook Park's oeuvre (and you should) perhaps start his latest, the kinky period mystery "The Handmaiden." It's like a "Fifty Shades" movie – but not crap!

Matt Mueller Culture Editor

As much as it is a gigantic cliché to say that one has always had a passion for film, Matt Mueller has always had a passion for film. Whether it was bringing in the latest movie reviews for his first grade show-and-tell or writing film reviews for the St. Norbert College Times as a high school student, Matt is way too obsessed with movies for his own good.

When he's not writing about the latest blockbuster or talking much too glowingly about "Piranha 3D," Matt can probably be found watching literally any sport (minus cricket) or working at - get this - a local movie theater. Or watching a movie. Yeah, he's probably watching a movie.