What does it mean to live in a "Woman's Nation?"

Perhaps you've heard about the recent study and subsequent news hype about the happiness of women in this country. Maria Shriver was a guest reporter on NBC's "Today" show last week and brought up the study in her segment, "A Woman's Nation." I have seen numerous articles and television segments since, and it has been an intriguing -- if a little frustrating -- insight into women and life in this country.

Wharton School professors Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers conducted the study and the outcome, in its simplest explanation, holds that women in this country today are less happy then they were in 1972.

Now, with just that elucidation it seems like pretty sad news (as if we needed any more), but interesting none the less. The arguments about this outcome are all over the board and some of the questions produced by this study are worth conversation. Though Wolfers and Stevenson admit the findings in their study show women may be more unhappy now than in 1972, the findings do not give any explanation as to why.

Some of the more vocal arguments about the study claim that feminism and the women's rights movement are to blame for the current unhappiness of women in our country. As if to say increased responsibility has driven down our overall happiness and, more important, that we shouldn't have rocked the boat in the first place. People in this camp feel women should have been perfectly happy as either underpaid secretaries or housewives and doing our husbands laundry until the day we die? Give me a break. It's called equality. Say it with me now... E-Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y.

I asked a woman I know well, we'll call her Gloria, about her initial thoughts on this study and the response it received. Having been alive during the ‘70s, I figured she may have better insight into "happiness factors" of 1972.

"One thought I had about why women might be more unhappy now is that there is such a vocal right-wing political movement to hinder women's progress," Gloria said. "I was young in 1972, but I felt more hopeful about the future of women than I do now. All those legal changes of the time (Roe v. Wade, equal employment opportunity, etc.) and we still have so far to go.

"I also feel that the portrayal of women in music, fashion, is more sexist and demeaning now than it was in the 70's. Perhaps feminism was more vocal and no one wanted to raise the ire of the women's rights movement (or perhaps I'm getting old and less tolerant of exposed boobs but note the rise in plastic surgery and breast enlargements.)"

Valid and interesting points. So have we come "a long way baby" or are we sliding backwards down a slippery slope?

Today, many women expect more out of themselves and more is expected of them than in 1972. Most women don't set their sights on becoming a housewife; we want a life and a career and money of our own, so for us to be happy we want a college degree, a good job and a place all our own. When we've decided we want to, we'll get married, have kids and perhaps move to the suburbs. So yes, we want more for ourselves and along with all of that comes inevitable responsibility and disappointment, but that's life. Just look at Melinda Gates, the woman could do nothing but sit around and recover from plastic surgery procedures if she wanted to, but instead she's constantly out bettering the world for people she's never met. Now that's inspiring.

Women have to worry about our biological clocks, we are the ones who feel we may have to choose between what we want in our careers and what we want in our families and we are the ones that are still, yes still, bumping into the glass ceiling. Nobody ever says he's a "working dad." So maybe we're so unhappy because despite a college degree, despite a career we're still expected to be awesome at motherhood, housework, cooking, etc.

What we want has to mold around what's expected of us. That's not nearly so much the case for men, and if you think otherwise you're in dire need of a reality check. Calm down, I'm not saying that great fathers don't exist, of course they do, but they don't have the same pressures that great mothers do.

"Our expectations must be higher than they were in 1972. Then, women wanted a helpful husband and a decent job," remarks Gloria. "Now we want equal pay, equal jobs, and equal output from our husband. Not just taking the kids for an hour while I run 25 errands, but 50/50 childcare. Even if we have a participating spouse, a dual-career household is running on empty most of the time."

Now, I'm not about to take off my bra and burn it. I like wearing make up and clothes that show I'm a woman, but I'm also a feminist. That doesn't mean I think all men should be castrated, but it does mean that I want to be treated as an equal. If I'm doing the same job as the guy next to me, I can't think of one reason why he should get paid a cent more than I do.

Unless he's taught his penis to run Outlook and send faxes, there's just no logical reason for it. And I have no delusions about when I have children that I fully intend to stick with a career I went to college for...

Otherwise, what was I doing there? Not searching for my MRS degree, that's for sure. Does all of this mean that I won't be as happy as the stay-at-home mom who lives next door? I wouldn't bank on it. Life's decisions are tough decisions and now that we have more on our plates than ever before, it's no wonder many of us are feeling less that thrilled about all of it. So maybe women aren't necessarily less happy than they were in 1972, maybe we're just a hell of a lot busier.

A few years ago, I read "The Feminine Mistake" by Leslie Bennetts. It's a fascinating read about just this type of thing, but points fingers in just the opposite direction. Bennetts argues that women who go through the challenge of college, get jobs and pave their own paths to very successful, high-paid, high-power careers only to give it all up the minute they have children are setting themselves up for a lifetime of unhappy realizations.

Some of the first-hand accounts are incredibly telling and infuriating. The book is describing exactly the opposite of what some argue is the reason women are unhappy today. Why seek and achieve a great career doing something challenging, interesting and fulfilling just to give it up the minute the EPT comes back positive?

I have opinions about this topic, but they are opinions for my own life. I can't tell another woman what to do with her body or her life and I don't intend to. Sure, it makes me sad to see women leave work permanently to be moms, but that's their choice, it's got nothing to do with me -- unless I'm in line for her job, in which case I'll plan her going away party. Guess that's another side effect of the women's movement, we're more competitive, too.

What this all comes down to is, we all have different ideas of happiness and how it is we intend to get there or stay there. Every realistic person on this planet has unhappiness in their lives, but it all depends on what you expect, what you've known. After all, isn't a level of happiness completely dependent on who you are and your previous life experience?

Paris Hilton has very different expectations of happiness than I do and I likely have very different expectations than a single mother working three jobs. That's not to say each of us shouldn't aim to be happy as much and as often as possible, but to assume that life won't throw you challenges or the unexpected curveball is ridiculous. That way of thinking is setting you up for unhappiness.

There is a lot going on right now that one could assume would make for a pretty unhappy society. We're digging our way out of a recession; we've been at war for nearly a decade; health care, for those who can afford it, is a mess and our culture seems less and less accepting and more violent every day. That's a lot to be unhappy and worried, about and it is no secret that women worry a lot.

This study is relative. It's relative to the challenges of today's society and everyday life in this country, relative to the women who answered the questions and relative to the fact that we want more therefore we are more challenged. Having lived through the feminist movement, Gloria suggests we may not be where we thought we would at this point.

"One of my initial reactions to the research was that we haven't yet worked out the kinks in feminism," she said. "We haven't figured out how to have a balanced work/home life. I think we have become more competitive, and more like men, because we have to succeed in a man's work world. The changes we've made to be "more like them" may also be making us unhappy."

Wolfers and Stevenson seem to have gone into their study without preconceived notions and seem concerned about the findings from their data. They are far from the only people to conduct such studies in recent years, as Wolfers himself pointed out in an article he authored for the New York Times. Wolfers and Stevenson shouldn't be harassed for the work they did or the data they uncovered. The facts are there, the women they spoke to say they are, in their own terms, unhappy. The question now is why.

Women fought for equality, not added burden. We want to be paid equally for equal jobs, we want equal health care and we've got the responsibilities and challenges without achieving equality. Who knows, maybe when that changes for the better, the results of future studies will change for the better as well.

So ladies... are you happy? Why? Or why not?