By Sarah Foster Special to OnMilwaukee.com Published Jun 12, 2010 at 9:03 AM

For the majority of my life I've been a relatively -- possibly even above average -- healthy person. Healthy enough, anyway, that I was convinced things like cancer only happened to other people. Not to my friends or family (Though my grandmother died of lung cancer, but that was thanks to R.J Reynolds, not genetics or misfortune). However, a few months ago a very close friend called to tell me her doctor called needing to speak with her about her yearly pap results.

In my personal experience, my doctor never calls me to give me the results. His bubbly nurse calls to leave me a reassuring voicemail that ‘everything is just fine!' So I can sleep at night knowing I'm in tip top shape for another year. I've never had a yearly exam come back as anything but perfect and hearing the fear in my friend's shaky voice made my stomach drop.

Apparently her pap test showed some abnormalities and some further testing was necessary concerning some cloudiness on her cervix that may or may not be cancer. My friend told me she didn't hear another word after her doctor casually mentioned the ‘C' word. She really likes her doc and he was very reassuring that everything would be fine, he just wanted to be absolutely positive, but try telling someone they might possibly have cancer and they aren't going to hear the ‘I'm just being extra cautious, it's likely nothing' part of the conversation. In reality what they hear is... ‘you might have cancer, blah, blah, blah.' We can't help but fear the worst.

After my conversation with her, I began to think how I would feel if I were in her shoes. I thought of what I would say to my boyfriend, my parents, and my friends. I even started to worry about how I would look without hair. It was horrible to imagine the things her mind must've been racing through. She had been laid off during the recession and had health care, but no savings to pay for large, ongoing co-pays on something major like surgery or chemo. As anyone who knows me or reads my column regularly knows, I'm all 100% for universal health care for each and every person and it's examples like my friend's situation that solidify my belief in that. A healthy, young woman gets laid off, gets cancer and... what? She goes bankrupt or she dies? You don't have to have cancer or know someone that has it to know those options suck.

In most cases cervical cancer is caused by the Human Papillomavirus (HPV), a sexually transmitted disease. There are over 100 types of HPV some of which cause cervical cancer or other genital cancers. According to WedMD, "most sexually active women and men will contract HPV at some point in their lifetime. Most will never even know it." In many cases the body fights off the HPV infection within two years without ever showing symptoms, but in some cases, HPV can cause cervical cancer.

Symptoms of cervical cancer may include:

  • Abnormal vaginal bleeding or a significant unexplained change in your menstrual cycle.
  • Bleeding when something comes in contact with the cervix, such as during sexual intercourse or when you insert a diaphragm.
  • Pain during sexual intercourse.
  • Abnormal vaginal discharge containing mucus that may be tinged with blood.
  • Symptoms that may occur when your cervical cancer has progressed include:
  • Anemia because of abnormal vaginal bleeding.
  • Ongoing pelvic, leg, or back pain.
  • Urinary problems because of blockage of a kidney or ureter.
  • Leakage of urine or fecal content into the vagina because an abnormal opening (fistula) has developed between the vagina and the bladder or rectum.
  • Weight loss.

The next step for my friend was to have a procedure called a colposcopy. The OBGYN puts a very low grade acid (like vinegar) on the surface of the cervix which makes the abnormal cells easier to see. When the doctor shines a lighted magnifying scope (colposcope) on the cervix it should look like a tiny, pink, shiny donut.

When a cervix has abnormal cells those cells may show up cloudy and white looking. If the doctor finds the look of the cells to be concerning, pieces of the cervix are removed and biopsied. Unpleasant and uncomfortable yes, but such an important step in determining whether cancer is present.

As my friend waited for the results of her colposcopy biopsy she said to me, ‘anyone of us could have cancer right now and not know it yet. I don't necessarily have cancer, but I'm one step closer in the wrong direction. And that is scary as hell.' I'm 28 years old, as is my girlfriend. I don't want to think about cancer, I don't want to think about being that sick. But when you or someone you love has no choice but to think about what a test result could mean in terms of the next year or the rest of their life... you can't ignore it either.

The biopsy was cancer free. However, the next few years will be the true test. If the HPV clears on its own, my friend can breathe a sigh of relief, but if it doesn't clear, or, God forbid, it progresses, it could mean many more tests, or even the removal of part or all of her cervix, the thought of which makes my throat tighten.

HPV doesn't usually show symptoms, which means if you're sexually active, you could have HPV right now and not know it. The American Cancer Society predicts that about 11,070 women will find out they have cervical cancer in the U.S. this year. They also say that roughly 3,870 women will die of the disease the same year

The reason that number isn't even higher? Early detection and removal of abnormal cells. Simply said, GET YOUR YEARLY PAPS DONE, LADIES! It literally could mean the difference between life and death. Safe sex practices can help stop the spread of HPV however HPV can also be spread via skin to skin contact and oral sex.

There are some cervical cancer vaccines available now but you must be within a certain age for your doctor to administer the vaccine. If you are interested in learning more about cervical cancer vaccines for yourself or possibly your daughter, you can learn more online or better yet, ask your doctor.

If we are lucky enough to be healthy we need to be smart enough to take care of ourselves and if we have the misfortune of ill health we need the reassurance that we have the support of everyone around us. Seeing my friend go through this ordeal was heartbreaking. In the end the outcome was, for now, fortunate, and I'm glad I was able to lend an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. As I spoke to other friends about their experiences I found that many women I know, young and old(er) have been through this very thing and it was helpful to hear their stories and have another reminder that early detection is the key to this and so many other diseases.

Sarah Foster Special to OnMilwaukee.com

No, the OnMilwaukee.com sex columnist's real name is not Sarah Foster. (Foster is the model/actress that played an ex-lover of Vincent Chase in the first season of "Entourage.") In reality, our sex columnist is a Wisconsin native with a degree in journalism and a knack for getting people to talk to her.

Sarah never considered herself an "above average" listener. Others, however, seem to think differently. Perhaps she has a sympathetic tone or expression that compels people to share their lives and secrets with her despite how little they know her. Everyone from the girl that does her hair to people in line at the grocery store routinely spill the details of their lives and relationships to Sarah, unprompted but typically not unwanted. It’s strange to her that people would do this, but she doesn’t mind. Sarah likes that she can give advice even if it is to complete strangers.

So why the pseudonym? Simple. People tell Sarah these things because for some reason they trust her. They believe she cares and therefore will keep their secrets in a locked vault the same way a best friend or therapist would. Sarah won't name names, but that vault is now unlocked.