So, great, this happened over the weekend.
While the Brewers, resisting the putrid expectations for their rebuilding season, were impressively winning a home series against the Astros, some fans at the stadium were busy sickeningly setting back their city – and fan base – by about 100,000 years.
But, hey, gotta make that money.
Thanks to a Deadspin tipster named Mike – who, c’mon man, couldn’t you have kept this to yourself? – we all now know, and can see with video evidence, that a fan in what appears to be the 200-level at Miller Park licked someone else’s vomit off the stands in exchange for $100.
Stay classy, Milwaukee.
"A woman barfed in the bleachers at the Brewer game. A man was paid $100 to take a giant lick of said puke. Merriment was enjoyed by all."
The man is holding a beer – and, really, we’re hoping it was at least his 10th – as are most of the appallingly entertained onlookers (many are also filming the event), whose collective reaction quickly turns from benevolent cries of "Nooo!" to incredulous laughter to primitive cheers celebrating the triumph of the human condition. There’s even what looks to be a stadium employee watching with a smile.
The barf-backing financier at one point declares, "I don’t know this guy," ostensibly to allay any fears that the stunt is a con job. And then it happens. And it is disgusting.
The unseen and unsung villain, though, is the woman, who provided the horrible opportunity for all of this to go down.
Last week, a Racing Sausage lost his feet; this week, a fan lost her lunch (or her frozen margaritas). And now, we have all lost our dignity. Meanwhile, people, the Brewers are actually winning baseball games!
So, yeah, I don't even know. We here at OnMilwaukee say $100 is too low. What do you think? How much would you need to be paid to lick up some puke? What if it was Ryan Braun's puke?
Happy Monday, everyone.
Born in Milwaukee but a product of Shorewood High School (go ‘Hounds!) and Northwestern University (go ‘Cats!), Jimmy never knew the schoolboy bliss of cheering for a winning football, basketball or baseball team. So he ditched being a fan in order to cover sports professionally - occasionally objectively, always passionately. He's lived in Chicago, New York and Dallas, but now resides again in his beloved Brew City and is an ardent attacker of the notorious Milwaukee Inferiority Complex.
After interning at print publications like Birds and Blooms (official motto: "America's #1 backyard birding and gardening magazine!"), Sports Illustrated (unofficial motto: "Subscribe and save up to 90% off the cover price!") and The Dallas Morning News (a newspaper!), Jimmy worked for web outlets like CBSSports.com, where he was a Packers beat reporter, and FOX Sports Wisconsin, where he managed digital content. He's a proponent and frequent user of em dashes, parenthetical asides, descriptive appositives and, really, anything that makes his sentences longer and more needlessly complex.
Jimmy appreciates references to late '90s Brewers and Bucks players and is the curator of the unofficial John Jaha Hall of Fame. He also enjoys running, biking and soccer, but isn't too annoying about them. He writes about sports - both mainstream and unconventional - and non-sports, including history, music, food, art and even golf (just kidding!), and welcomes reader suggestions for off-the-beaten-path story ideas.