By Molly Snyder Senior Writer Published Feb 05, 2018 at 4:01 PM

Well, we have our own pens, our own Lego sets and even our own guns, so I guess it was just a matter of time before we women got our very own matronly munchies.

According to research conducted by Doritos, females don’t like to "crunch loudly" or have seasoning residue left on our fingertips when snacking – particularly in public. Hence, the company announced they will develop a "lady-friendly" version of the crunchy orange chip that's quieter and less crumbly.

Wait, what?!

"Although women would love to crunch (chips) loudly, lick their fingers and pour crumbs from the bag into their mouth afterwards, they prefer not to do this in public," global chief executive of PepsiC0. (which owns Doritos), Indra Nooyi, told The New York Post.

And, wait, there’s more …

The cleaner, muter snacks will come in packs created to fit easily in a women’s purse. 

Perhaps they should make them in a different shape other than a triangle. Such sharp edges could chafe women’s extra-soft inner cheeks. And hopefully, the packaging design will be modified to trick men into thinking women are eating lower-calorie, libido-lifting snacks like dark chocolate chips or oysters instead of straight-up high-calorie, better-loosen-your-mom-jeans junk food.

Turns out, I’m not alone in my miffed-ness. A spokesman from the Women’s Equality Party also told The Post, "Companies that perpetuate these tired gender stereotypes will continue to lose out on the single biggest consumer group: women."

Would you buy these?

Molly Snyder started writing and publishing her work at the age 10, when her community newspaper printed her poem, "The Unicorn.” Since then, she's expanded beyond the subject of mythical creatures and written in many different mediums but, nearest and dearest to her heart, thousands of articles for OnMilwaukee.

Molly is a regular contributor to FOX6 News and numerous radio stations as well as the co-host of "Dandelions: A Podcast For Women.” She's received five Milwaukee Press Club Awards, served as the Pfister Narrator and is the Wisconsin State Fair’s Celebrity Cream Puff Eating Champion of 2019.