I'm going to get right down to brass tacks here because I'm still a little shaken up over this whole ordeal.

My drink garnish tried to kill me.

Okay, I'm not that traumatized and it's really far-fetched to say I could have died, but it wasn't fun.

I don't order garnishable drinks often, but when I do I almost always eat the cherry or olive or whatever came with the drink when I'm done with it. It's bonus food, and I'm not wasteful.

Recently I had just such a drink in hand. Everything was normal until I bit down on the garnish, which was when I discovered it had been hiding a bonus toothpick splinter that was now firmly lodged between my back teeth.

Thankfully it was big enough that I stopped myself before I chomped it completely into my gums. And, after some unladylike fishing, I finally removed the murderous little bastard (Don't you dare tell me I should have used a toothpick).

I've recovered, for the most part, but now I'm oddly preoccupied. I've never seen this happen to a toothpick before. Are there other people out there who have experienced this? Enough to start a support group? Can I sue the toothpick people? Am I OK with the idea of having the garnish-skewering market dominated by multicolored plastic pirate swords?

Maybe I'm taking this too far. It's possible one of the shards made its way into my brain. At the very least, consider this a cautionary tale. Check your toothpicks, kids; it could save your life.