By Dave Begel Contributing Writer Published Aug 30, 2016 at 11:03 AM

Julie Tarney is one of my oldest and dearest friends. 

We met just after my wife and I were married, living in the same apartment building on Prospect. She and her roommate, Donna, were the two single girls who lived upstairs. The building doesn’t even exist anymore.

It is with an incredible thrill that I sit now to write about my friend, who has just published a book, "My Son Wears Heels: One Mom’s Journey from Clueless to Kickass." The New York Times Book Review called her book an "exceptional job of tracing the zigzagging line of Harry’s self-identity." The New York Frickin’ Times!

Julie and her ex-husband, prominent Milwaukee designer Ken Hanson (another lifelong friend), have a son, Harry. When he was two-years-old, Harry told his mom that "inside my head, I’m a girl." It was 1992. The journey was on.

Julie’s book is the tale of a mother and father faced with a child unlike any they had expected.

Harry was pissed at his mom when she bought him a Peter Pan costume for Halloween. He wanted to be Wendy. Barbie dolls were his favorites. When my daughters outgrew their suitcase full of Barbies, they gave them to Harry.

In high school, he designed a dress made of garbage bags for a fashion show. He called it "Trashy Fashion." When he walked across the stage at Shorewood High School to get his diploma, he was wearing red stiletto shoes. His classmates stood and cheered.

Life could have been problematic for Harry, as it is for many children who are conflicted about their gender identity. But Harry had parents who cared deeply and who were eager to embrace whatever and whoever their child was. They lived in a supportive and comforting neighborhood. They sent him to Shorewood High School, a place where all that matters is how hard you are willing to work and how you treat everybody.

The girls all loved Harry. He was flamboyant and had an exquisite sense of fashion. Cool jewelry and the creative use of boas were hallmarks.

Ken and Julie divorced but remained (and remain) better friends than almost any other married couple I know. They unite around interests, ambitions and the love of their son.

Julie writes for Huffington Post under the rubric "My Son Wears Heels." She’s active in and sits on the boards of several organizations that reflect her passions. She’s coming to Boswell Books on Downer to read and sign her book on Sept. 21.

Julie worked in public relations in Milwaukee, creating the PR department at Laughlin-Constable. She is the one who created "The Diggers Hotline" for WE Energies. She’s smart, caring and one of the best joke tellers I’ve ever known.

Her book also reflects her love for truth. She pulls no punches about how difficult it was for her to be the mother, having faced difficulties with her own mother and wanting to do it right.

Julie and Ken sent Harry to New York for school, and Julie soon followed, moving all alone to Brooklyn to keep watching the amazing journey her son was on. She gave him a home, and she was always there with unqualified love.

Harry dressed and danced and entertained. He flirted with a wide variety of creative lanes in life. Everything revolved around creative energy for Harry. He takes after his talented father in that way. 

To some people, including me, Harry can look a little bit surprising. But he’s a great kid, polite and gentle. After all these years, he still calls me "Mr. Begel." He’s as funny as his mom. I remember him trying to figure out names for himself when dressed in his most striking fashions. "Amber Alert" was one. "Rosetta Stone" another. 

Julie looked at the challenge of Harry not as an obstacle to be overcome but as an invitation to prove how far love can take a father and mother and child.

Her book is like her life, full of humor, a journey taken not alone but in the comfort of friends and family. And it’s about her fears that she faced, wondering about her son and what his life would become and whether he’d ever be one of the boys or whether he’d miss it if he wasn’t.

She says it the best.

"I have long since learned that fitting in for a kid (or adult) doesn’t mean being the same as everyone else. It means being accepted for who you are."

Dave Begel Contributing Writer

With a history in Milwaukee stretching back decades, Dave tries to bring a unique perspective to his writing, whether it's sports, politics, theater or any other issue.

He's seen Milwaukee grow, suffer pangs of growth, strive for success and has been involved in many efforts to both shape and re-shape the city. He's a happy man, now that he's quit playing golf, and enjoys music, his children and grandchildren and the myriad of sports in this state. He loves great food and hates bullies and people who think they are smarter than everyone else.

This whole Internet thing continues to baffle him, but he's willing to play the game as long as OnMilwaukee.com keeps lending him a helping hand. He is constantly amazed that just a few dedicated people can provide so much news and information to a hungry public.

Despite some opinions to the contrary, Dave likes most stuff. But he is a skeptic who constantly wonders about the world around him. So many questions, so few answers.