The opinions expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the opinions of OnMilwaukee.com, its advertisers or editorial staff.
Everybody complains about how Republicans seem to be so angry all the time, both on a national and state level.
I have stumbled on the secret to making Republicans a lot happier, thanks to a tip from a veteran Wisconsin lawmaker, State Sen. Mary Lazich (R-New Berlin).
Lazich, who is also the president of the senate, has come up with another one of those brain-dead ideas to turn the whole state into the O.K. Corral.
Lazich wants to pass a law that will allow guns to be carried on school grounds and in schools. Her reasoning is that if some packing parent comes to school to pick up or drop off their kid, Lazich doesn’t want them to be arrested for breaking the law prohibiting guns on school grounds.
Ever since Scott Walker took the helm of our state, we have been on an unstoppable cruise to eliminate most of the laws that are intended to help keep people from shooting other people and themselves. Thanks to Walker, you can now get pissed off at your neighbor, go get a gun without waiting, ride your pony or ATV home wearing the gun on your hip, goad your neighbor into rushing your house and then kill him in the name of defending your castle (or old Airstream or whatever).
I think we should give up the fight here and just help these Republicans pass so many gun laws that Wisconsin can change its motto from "Forward" to "Duck!"
Let’s get behind another new idea from Representative Joel Kleefisch (R-Oconomowoc), who met his wife, Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch, when both were TV reporters at WISN-TV. Joel Kleefisch wants to eliminate the minimum age for hunting in the state.
Right now, you have to be at least 10 years old and be accompanied by a mentor who is not carrying his or her own gun. Just one gun between the mentor and mentee.
Kleefisch wants to get rid of all those restrictions. Four-year-olds could hunt, and each person could carry his own weapon. One opponent of this legislation said that it would allow a mentor to get two permits – one for him and one for an infant – and then kill two deer without ever teaching the kid how to shoot.
We also need to get rid of any of these laws that say you can’t have guns in certain places. And we should not allow anyone other than the state to decide if a gun can be carried legally. If Walker says it’s OK, then it’s OK.
Guns should be allowed in churches, parent-teacher conferences, funeral parlors, county buses, the new Milwaukee Downtown trolley, all courtrooms, both stage and movie theaters, the new Bucks arena – as well as the adjoining recreational plaza – golf courses, Ma Fischer’s, most Mexican restaurants, all museums except the Charles Allis Art Museum, the House on the Rock, Lambeau Field, polling places, all Kopp’s restaurants, Summerfest and Uber rides.
Finally, we need to shift our approach to gun laws. For far too long, we have changed these laws in a piecemeal fashion to increase the freedoms to buy, carry and use all manner of firearms.
I think it’s high time we stopped the, "We'll let you do this, we'll let you do that" stuff. We need to make it so easy to own a gun that everybody will want to get on board.
We need to take a leaf from Jimmy John’s and allow online ordering for immediate home and office delivery. Freaky-fast firearms.
Think about it.
You’re sitting at home on a warm summer evening. Three teenagers walk by, dribbling a basketball.
They ask if they can cut through your yard to get to the park. You say no. They tell you to go fly a kite and start to walk along your driveway toward your backyard.
You are understandably scared and call a number you have stored in your phone. Less than 10 minutes later, a car squeals up and a high school kid wearing a golf shirt and jeans pulls up and gives you a Sig Sauer P220 with an eight-shot magazine. You holler at the kids to leave.
They laugh at you and start to walk in your direction. Normally you’d worry. But now you are just a happy Republican.
With a history in Milwaukee stretching back decades, Dave tries to bring a unique perspective to his writing, whether it's sports, politics, theater or any other issue.
He's seen Milwaukee grow, suffer pangs of growth, strive for success and has been involved in many efforts to both shape and re-shape the city. He's a happy man, now that he's quit playing golf, and enjoys music, his children and grandchildren and the myriad of sports in this state. He loves great food and hates bullies and people who think they are smarter than everyone else.
This whole Internet thing continues to baffle him, but he's willing to play the game as long as OnMilwaukee.com keeps lending him a helping hand. He is constantly amazed that just a few dedicated people can provide so much news and information to a hungry public.
Despite some opinions to the contrary, Dave likes most stuff. But he is a skeptic who constantly wonders about the world around him. So many questions, so few answers.