I have done just about everything in a restaurant from serving, bartending and expediting to washing dishes and mopping floors, but I have never been a delivery driver before, so I boldly determined to go where I had not been before; quite literally in some cases: I spent a few nights moonlighting as a delivery driver for a local restaurant.

First of all, I am not great with directions. I know just about one way to get everywhere in Milwaukee, but if you spin me around blindfolded or change my path by a street or two, I am far too easily confused. I would be a great commercial candidate for TomTom.

Milwaukee especially can be difficult to get around in due to the river split of streets between Wisconsin and Juneau and our lovely abundance of one-way streets, which allow you to easily see where you need to go, but sometimes make it very difficult to get there.  Even having lived here for the past 15 years, I still don’t always know where to find Larkspur Lane or the ever-elusive Albion and Young Streets.  For this endeavor, I became temporarily glued to a Milwaukee map.

Secondly, carrying cash on my person is against my nature.  I am a debit card girl, and even just having cash for change in my pockets made me a little nervous when I was walking by my lonesome down 9th Street and Wisconsin Avenue at 9:45 on a dark Thursday night. 

Thirdly, delivery tips are totally and completely inconsistent.  Sometimes a $90 delivery left me with a whopping $2 tip, while a $25 delivery yielded a fantastic $15.  I grew up with the 10 percent delivery tip standard, which I now have concluded is far too little, and from this point forward solemnly swear to tip my delivery drivers no less than $5.

Some establishments charge a delivery charge (this one did) which is 1) given to the delivery person as a gas allotment, 2) prorated between the delivery driver and the restaurant, or 3) kept entirely by the restaurant.  Regardless, $2-$5 delivery charges do not obsolete a tip for your delivery person, who is spending $2.85 or more per gallon of gas, so if you see this charge, just keep in mind that the man or woman at your door is trying to make a living above and beyond this negligible delivery fee.

The last thing is that I was amazed at how much actual work goes into delivering.  I had to carry a pen and change on me at all times. I had to file received charge slips in my glove box so I could safely return them all to the restaurant. I had to map out concurrent deliveries and determine the shortest routes while still delivering the foodstuffs hot and fresh within my promised delivery window.

In some cases I had to call the orderer because apartment buzzers didn’t work, or ring the manager to locate a person whose cell was going to voicemail.  I searched for parking and sometimes found spots blocks away on the busy East Side from which I had to walk to get the food to its rightful home.

And I had to be nice to people at all times, showcasing great customer service, even when I was out of breath from climbing 10 flights of stairs because the apartment complex’s elevator was down and the orderer didn’t want to come meet me in the lobby.

But overall, my short-term tenure as a delivery person was a great experience.  I had the wonderful opportunity to visit some really architecturally beautiful homes, meet some very nice folks and bring food to hungry people who were pleased as punch when I showed up at their doors with a bag full of dinner.

I think there’s just something about ordering in food and eating in the comfort of your own home that makes people happy, and it was fun to be a part of that.  Plus, I discovered some Milwaukee streets I never even knew existed!  Viva delivery!