By Andy Tarnoff Publisher Published Sep 24, 2008 at 12:14 PM

The bowling team sustained a devastating blow this month: our anchor was lost for the season with a shoulder injury. Now our last-place team is a man down, and we need a replacement. Fast.

Could you be that man?

First, a little background. We bowl Wednesday nights at Bay View Bowl, and we're horrible. It's a 930 league, which means the expectation is that we should each carry a 186 average. I'm in the mix with a 160 average, and we tend to finish dead last in the field of 10 teams. We're not proud of our despicable averages, and we relish the irregular weeks in which we all step up to our potential. The other weeks, we just enjoy the camaraderie.

"Team," which consists of Chris, Jim, Ryan and myself (I'm the only employee, but I'm the sponsor), has lots of fun while throwing splits and missing spares. Certain members of the team make sure there's never an empty pitcher of beer at the table, and the premium beef jerky is always a flowin.' And even though the 33-week season is a doozy, it's a great way to occupy three hours on a Wednesday night during the dead of winter.

Do you want to step in and fill the extremely small bowling shoes that we're missing? We're not looking for an outstanding bowler, necessarily, but we won't turn you down if you can lift us out of the gutter. More importantly, we're looking for someone who can commit to the rest of the season (we're just a few weeks in), and can laugh at himself a little and have a good time.

The weekly fees are $17, but oddly, you get about half that back after the scrumptious banquet and awards ceremony in April. Even as last place finishers, the kitty comes out to more than $300. And if you join our team, we'll buy the first round.

Just e-mail me and let me know, in 100 words or less, why you'd like to bowl with us.

Just kidding. Just e-mail me.

Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.

Before launching in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.

Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.