By Molly Snyder Senior Writer Published Jan 26, 2018 at 3:03 PM

Whether your wedding is right around the corner, or down the road, The Corners has just what you need to make your day extra special!

A wise friend once said, "Sometimes we don’t get it right the first time, and that’s OK. We’re human." This is true of so many things: first recipes, first jobs, even first marriages. All we can do is reflect on our past, learn what we can and hope that the second time – or the third or the fourth – is the charm.

"I got married the first time when I was too young. I had no idea what I wanted from life or from a partner," says Angela Frank. "My parents paid a lot of money for the wedding, and even at the time it didn’t feel like it was right. My second wedding was different. It was a lot less money, way more ‘me’ and, most importantly, the right man was in it."

This is a common theme for many wedding planners who help orchestrate a second wedding.

"My clients approach a second wedding differently than the first, but that’s because they are older and wiser. They know who their friends are and they know what they want," says Sally Vanderwyst, who owns and operates a wedding flower and styling company in Riverwest called Milwaukee Flower Company.

Vanderwyst says second weddings are usually smaller and cheaper, but they usually focus on quality over quantity. The brides and grooms often only invite the friends and family who are supportive, which keeps the guest list shorter and more intimate.

"Second-time brides and grooms tend to really hone it in. They might have had the 300-person wedding the first time, but this time they’re having 35 people," says Vanderwyst. "Instead of the typical wedding dinner they often opt for a fancier, higher-end meal. In the end they’re spending less over all, but more per person."

Arleta Slaughter is a local wedding planner who is currently planning a second-marriage wedding. She believes a couple should do whatever is best for them, but understands that they might also have to take family dynamics into account. Hence, she is happy to be a bit of a therapist in her role as wedding planner.

"I’ll sit down with the couple and go through all the pros and cons with them," says Slaughter. "All families are different and how they’re going to feel comfortable is always different, so it’s my job to make sure they can acclimate to the situation as quickly as possible."

Vanderwyst says although she recognizes there is a difference between the planning of a first and second wedding, many aspects are the same.

"My main piece of advice for any wedding is the same: don’t sweat the small stuff. People get really carried away with a detail like a guest book or something else that won’t be remembered in the end," she says. "What they will remember – and their guests will remember – will be the vibe and feel of the event."

And although the wedding day is known as "the bride’s big day," remembering that the bride is also the host is important whether getting married for the first or fifth time.

"It’s about the party and sharing it with the people you love," says Vanderwyst. "And being a really good host. Some brides forget that."

Most importantly, second-time-around brides and grooms should remember there are no rules – in life or in weddings. Brides and grooms shouldn’t feel pressure to underplay their marriage celebration or believe they need to slip away and elope. At the same time, they should keep expectations low from their guests and not plan on as many gifts or well-wishes as they received the first time.

"Everything changes all the time. Brides and grooms should do what they want. Wanna wear white? Wear white. Want your maids of honors to wear white? I’ve seen that, too. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of this," says Slaughter. 

When Sue Knight and Andrew Pain married in January of 2016, they had no problem creating the wedding that best suited their family and personal interests. As avid motorcyclists who met at Motor Restaurant at the Harley-Davidson Museum, they decided to return to the same spot to exchange vows and share a meal with close friends and immediate family, including Knight's two daughters.

"We didn’t do any of the traditional wedding stuff. It was very simple and casual. Neither one of us are into dressing up," says Knight. "We’ve always drooled over fancy travelers / campers clothes, but used to cringe when we looked at the price tag. So, we went together to REI to splurge on pants and shirts to wear on our wedding day. Which we now also wear when we travel and camp."

In lieu of rings, the couple exchanged keys to new motorcycles during the ceremony. 

"Neither of us wear jewelry, but we share a love of motorcycles and plan to travel around the world on bikes. Pretty good symbol of love, we thought," says Knight.

Molly Snyder started writing and publishing her work at the age 10, when her community newspaper printed her poem, "The Unicorn.” Since then, she's expanded beyond the subject of mythical creatures and written in many different mediums but, nearest and dearest to her heart, thousands of articles for OnMilwaukee.

Molly is a regular contributor to FOX6 News and numerous radio stations as well as the co-host of "Dandelions: A Podcast For Women.” She's received five Milwaukee Press Club Awards, served as the Pfister Narrator and is the Wisconsin State Fair’s Celebrity Cream Puff Eating Champion of 2019.