By OnMilwaukee Staff Writers   Published May 12, 2013 at 1:02 PM

Charles Ramsey has become the everyman's hero after rescuing Amanda Berry and two other Cleveland women, so it's only right that several of his immediate post-rescue interviews were mixed together with some autotune and a catchy beat.

Sounds like Top 40 all day long.

Ever want time to slow down for you? Go find a hippo and convince it to eat you. Well, not eat you, but maybe swallow you like half-whole for a bit. If you can stand the rotten egg smell, time will indeed stop.

Hey you. Yeah, you.

Are you hot? Or not?

If not, go away – don't ever come into my store. Ever. So says Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries:

"That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that."

So, yeah.

The short instrumental at the beginning of movies made by 20th Century FOX is kind of iconic at this point, something that tells your brain exactly what kind of production you're watching even with your eyes closed.

So, why not make it your own with a little bit of flute (or recorder)?

As marriage equality is debated roundly across the nation and the discussion of openly gay athletes in male professional sports is reaching a fever pitch, one question has long been left unanswered by the straight community:

Like, when did you decide to you know, become straight?

New reality TV series: Animals on bicycles! What could go wrong?

The Chinese do a lot of things right, and this idea seemed destined for global syndication. You put a monkey on a bicycle. You put a bear on a bicycle. You let them race each other.

Only ... you can't really let the bear catch the monkey because well, there's that whole natural order of things that you have to contend with.