By Sarah Foster Special to Published Mar 27, 2010 at 1:04 PM

Oh Facebook, how do I love Thee? Let me count the ways...

Alright, yes, I do enjoy Facebook and Twitter, and once in a blue moon, I'll even check my LinkedIn account, but I don't really LOVE social media, nor do I use and abuse it the way some people do. You know the ones I'm talking about, the constant updates about every mundane, embarrassing detail of one's life that you never wanted to know and actually make you a bit mortified for the author.

"Just stopped for gas on my way to get my back waxed, had a great time at dinner last night, but I shouldn't have had that sixth glass of wine, especially after taking those Sake bombs and then driving home, my head hurts" or how about "I called in sick to work today not only so I could watch March Madness but because sleeping under my desk is really starting to hurt my neck.' I always wait for the update after this that says, ‘just got fired. Anyone wanna get a drink?"

We make one huge mistake when we enter the world of social media and that is assuming that the only people that view our pages are the people we want to. On March 3 of this year Facebook claimed on its blog that they had reached 250 million users worldwide.

Honestly, I thought it would be a higher number. Social media can be a great tool to reconnect to old friends, find new friends and keep in touch (constantly), but what most don't stop to consider is that these pages would not exist without the Internet and even though we want badly to believe it is, the Internet is not private.

As long as the Internet has been around providing communication, education and information, it's also been a breeding ground for bad behavior. Hackers, child molesters and terrorists alike use the Internet along with you and me.

One simply has to look at the case of Anthony Stancl to see how social media can be used for evil. Stancl posed as a young woman online and managed to get over 31 teenage boys to send him naked photos of themselves. He then blackmailed seven of the boys to participate in sexual acts with him in return for not revealing the photos to their classmates. These are boys under the age of 18 and therefore Stancl was charged with, among numerous other things, possession of child pornography and that, my Facebook friends, is a felony.

Stancl was sentenced in February to fifteen years in prison and another thirteen years of extended supervision. And let's get something clear: Stancl isn't a homosexual, he's a pedophile, a rapist and a severely manipulative person. Though his attorney claims Stancl is not a sexual deviant the district attorney in this case cited a previous incident in which Stancl, who was 13 at the time, was charged with sexual assault of a 3-year old he was babysitting.

So I repeat; homosexuals don't rape children, pedophiles do.

I'm torn on whether anyone under the age of 18 should be allowed to have social media pages. On the one hand it's good to allow young adults to interact with one another and share their lives, hobbies, photos, etc. But, as is clear in the Stancl case, this sort of thing, without the supervision of a responsible adult, can fall into the wrong hands and go south very quickly. The consequences of sending ANYONE nude photos of yourself can be irreversible. And the same can hold true for the things you say. This isn't always clear to young boys and girls.

What we need to keep in mind as we share our lives with the World Wide Web is this: it's not private. Whether you're 15 or 55, your drunk, half naked, embarrassing photos, TMI updates and regrettable comments are out there for the entire world to see if they care enough to look for it, or someone decides to blast it all over the place. That means your potential employers, your parents, your nieces and nephews, your ex, your current significant other, your siblings, your kids, everyone... can see your business.

You know the saying, ‘would you kiss your mother with that mouth?!' Well, the next time you update or post a picture or link, ask yourself the same thing... ‘would I share this with my mother?' If the answer is no, then don't post. Facebook might just be a trend for now, but a publicly posted naked picture is forever.

Sarah Foster Special to

No, the sex columnist's real name is not Sarah Foster. (Foster is the model/actress that played an ex-lover of Vincent Chase in the first season of "Entourage.") In reality, our sex columnist is a Wisconsin native with a degree in journalism and a knack for getting people to talk to her.

Sarah never considered herself an "above average" listener. Others, however, seem to think differently. Perhaps she has a sympathetic tone or expression that compels people to share their lives and secrets with her despite how little they know her. Everyone from the girl that does her hair to people in line at the grocery store routinely spill the details of their lives and relationships to Sarah, unprompted but typically not unwanted. It’s strange to her that people would do this, but she doesn’t mind. Sarah likes that she can give advice even if it is to complete strangers.

So why the pseudonym? Simple. People tell Sarah these things because for some reason they trust her. They believe she cares and therefore will keep their secrets in a locked vault the same way a best friend or therapist would. Sarah won't name names, but that vault is now unlocked.