{image1} As surprising as it was that Marquette's board of trustees decided to scrap Golden Eagles for The Gold, it may have been even more surprising that they are actually listening to the public outcry for the hatred of their ideas. Thirty-eight very intelligent people coming up with nothing better than The Gold really is a cry for help.
Right now the entire board is lying on a leather couch in search for answers. Since I am a man of the people -- someone who shines in times of need and a man who can't deal with being mocked for having his basketball team called something even more dumb the Golden Eagles or the Gold -- I have come to save the day.
It is now up to people with relatively little education, but more common sense to come up with an idea. Otherwise this could get worse before it gets better.
Has anything good ever come out of a fact-finding committee? It sounds like politics to me, which is exactly what got Marquette into this predicament in the first place.
Here are a few ideas for the committee to consider:
Marquette Warriors
For 90 percent of the country, this is the nickname that not only makes the most sense, it also brings back the memories of the glory days of Marquette basketball. This is also the only name on this list that has absolutely no chance of being selected.
Political correctness has taken over the world and it has begun the "wussifacation" of America where everyone is a winner and the worst thing you can do is hurt someone's feelings.
Forget the fact that they could make "Warriors" ambiguous and use their new logo, which actually is cool. Wouldn't that be the kind of forward thinking that they are looking for?
Marquette Golden Eagles
This sounds good if it is the only option next to The Gold. Nothing sets a school apart like the nickname Golden Eagles. Only 2000 other schools have that for its nickname, and the current Golden Eagle mascot is one of the worst in sports. Plus, Golden Eagle apparel does not exactly fly off of the shelf.
Sidenote: Why isn't former president of Marquette Albert DiUlio held more is disdain for the decision he made in the first place? When contacted at his job in Washington for comment on the situation by the Journal Sentinel he couldn't have turned and ran faster from the question. He stated that it was no longer his problem, that it was now Bob's. First off, your weak backbone created this mess, and secondly who is Bob? I didn't realize that current President Fr. Robert Wild was called Padre Bob amongst friends.
Marquette Gold
The board was worrying about offending one person out of one million - in turn they offended 999,999 people with their stupidity.
Marquette Golden Avalanche
This was the nickname for the Marquette football team in the 1930s and '40s. Therefore it has some tradition and it shouldn't offend anyone, since even fatal avalanches aren't exactly golden. It also incorporates the Golden motif, which seems to be something of which the board can't escape.
The one problem is the mascot. Insert ideas here ...
Marquette Hilltoppers
The Hilltoppers was the original nickname of the basketball team. In fact, there is a Hilltoppers banner in the Bradley Center for winning the Catholic League Championship under Tex Winters.
Hilltoppers is original, definitely has tradition and has a decent mascot (the ram). It couldn't possibly offend anyone and it screams superiority - something that the folks at MU have down to a science.
Also, being an MUHS grad - I am partial to the name.
Marquette Jumpin' Jesuits
This is my personal favorite. Nothing would scream Marquette more than the Jumpin' Jezzies. It would allow the university to bask it its Jesuit traditions and would appeal to great merchandise sales -- the University's true goal anyway.
This nickname would fit in with the likes of the Fighting Banana Slugs of UC Santa Clara, or the Rajun Cajuns of Southwest Louisiana. Not exactly two well know universities but their nicknames resonate.
Jumpin' Jesuits would have a great mascot and would not offend anyone more than calling the President of the University Bob (as if he is some sort of commoner). Also, like previously stated, it would conjure tradition and make money.
Marquette Interchange
Nothing dominates campus more than the Interchange. It is completely ambiguous and saves the board from any confrontations. It is also very expensive - a recognized tradition of the University.
Marquette Explorers
The Explorers keeps in tune with the history of the University and Father Marquette (himself an explorer). The only problem is that the Native Americans may be upset because they aren't getting the credit that they rightfully deserve for helping Father Marquette discover the area.
The mascot would be a little weak, but it would be more distinguished than intimidating. Retail sales should be OK, and other than the above sarcasm the name really shouldn't be offensive to anyone.
Other Possibilities
There are many more possibilities for nicknames, such as combinations like War Eagles or Golden Warriors - but these would be copouts.
They could follow Brian Nelson's advice from Lazer 103 and just create the tradition of changing the nickname every 10 years. At least it would be differentiating. For example they could use the coach's name for the nickname - The Marquette Creans.
On a serious note, the board needs to step up this time around. As has shown over the past week, there are many people that care deeply about this decision including Badger fans who couldn't have been happier with the choice of The Gold. Hilltoppers is my first choice, followed by Jumpin' Jesuits and Explorers. Now it is up to some very smart people to make a very intelligent important decision. On their second try.
