The big game is here – the last big game of all time. Because if the Cincinnati Bengals making it to the Super Bowl isn't a sign of the apocalypse, what is?
If this is somehow the last Super Bowl, though, what a way to go out – even if, sure, we all wish the Packers hasn't gotten to bring a special teams unit to the postseason and lost in the divisional round. After all, who can be upset when the Cincinnati Bengals and their awesome helmets are somehow here, serving as our delightful underdogs with a bunch of young players ready to have fun and a no-longer-tortured fanbase. (Unless you consider Skyline Chili torture – and are WRONG.) Even the Los Angeles Rams, the big-market presumed favorites, are worth rooting for thanks to their long-suffering quarterback Matt Stafford, their rocket-propelled defense and their equally awesome helmets.
See what happens when Tom Brady isn't here? The game's actually exciting! We should do this more often!
To make Sunday's big game somehow even more fun and enjoyable – or, if for some odd reason, you're not excited to see the Bengals here because you're a monster – NFL Memes is here with their annual Super Bowl drinking game. Drink it in:
And, as always, why stop at just those rules? Here are some more prompts for your drinking delight:
- Take a drink every time the announcers attempt to make "Joe Cool" a thing.
- As with last year's edition, take a drink every time there's a very expensive commercial you fully ignore because the company revealed it two weeks ago. Love hemorrhaging money, don't we, companies?!
- Take a drink every time boy genius Sean McVay looks overwhelmed.
- Pop a bottle of champagne if you're a Bengals fan. You deserve it.
- Take a loooong drink each time you remember Aaron Rodgers' nasty outfit from the NFL Honors. It'll help you forget.
- Take a drink every time the pregame coverage or announcers try to wedge a Tom Brady reference into the broadcast.
- Take a drink every time Al Michaels audibly drools over the Rams' shiny new stadium.
- Take a drink, then have a spit-take when you remember that Washington wasted years upon years coming up with a new name only to land on "Commanders" and those stupid jerseys.
- Take a shot of Malort to get the taste of the Packers' awful playoff game against the Niners out of your mouth
- Take a drink if you see an ad for NBC's "The Voice," which I believe is now on season 1,349.
- Drink all of the alcohol in the house when the game is over and you realize it's now RodgersWatch season 2.0.
- Drive to the store, buy more alcohol and drink all of that alcohol when you start getting excited for baseball, only to remember that we STILL don't know if that's happening yet.
And there you have it. Enjoy the game – and enjoy having no Tom Brady, no Bill Belichick and no Boston sports fans to deal with this Super Bowl. Truly a 315-days-before-Christmas miracle.
As much as it is a gigantic cliché to say that one has always had a passion for film, Matt Mueller has always had a passion for film. Whether it was bringing in the latest movie reviews for his first grade show-and-tell or writing film reviews for the St. Norbert College Times as a high school student, Matt is way too obsessed with movies for his own good.
When he's not writing about the latest blockbuster or talking much too glowingly about "Piranha 3D," Matt can probably be found watching literally any sport (minus cricket) or working at - get this - a local movie theater. Or watching a movie. Yeah, he's probably watching a movie.