I spent a week on Yo, yo-ing to all the friends of mine who'd downloaded the app. Both of them. Here's how to use it: download, choose a user name, sign in, enter your phone number, wait for Yo to message you a code (no, the message isn't "Yo," much to my dismay), enter the code, find your friends, add your friends, and send them yo. Got all that? Cool.
So I sent "yo" to a friend and got one "yo" back. The conversation sort of ended there. I sent another Yo, but was met with silence. In the five days I used Yo, I got one "yo" back. I requested a dozen other of my friends get "Yo," but none would bite. What's up with that, yo?
Frankly though, if they had, I can't foresee why I would have even kept going. It's pointless and, really, takes about as much time to send an actual text with the word "Yo" in it. I admit that I understand its appeal, at least initially. 'Hey', you're saying to a friend, I'm thinking of you; are you thinking of me? (Hopefully they'd "Yo" you back, in that case.) But here we are, well, "we" being professionals in our 20s and 30s, and "Yo" just doesn't quite cut it. It's like a Snapchat without any of the context, creativity or clarity. I can't screen-shot a Yo, I can't (or won't) huddle around the phone with my in-person friends when one comes in because, well, we know exactly what the hell it's going to be. Yo is, to me, a very anti-social app and not a shareable one. I am not compelled to share a "Yo."
Yes, I subscribe to the "never call me unless you're on fire and need immediate assistance and I'm the only one who can help, please text me instead" rule, because phone calls are outrageously personal to me and borderline obnoxious, but this is too minimalist, too unclear and too useless. That's it. This is useless. Yo is useless.
A bunch of college kids hacked YO only days ago -- so is this be the beginning, or the end? Guess we'll see.
Jeremy Glass is a Connecticut-born writer with a deep appreciation for pretty ladies, fast food and white T-shirts.
He's the Vice editor for Supercompressor.com and recently released a book of short stories called Aimless.