Yeah, sure, some movies and TV shows are leaving Netflix next month. But apologies to the "Battleship" fans out there – all four of them – the bigger story is what else is leaving the streaming service: you.
No, it wasn't a banner month for the Increasingly Shrinking Red Streaming Monolith, which announced that, for the first time in ten years, it actually lost global subscribers – and expects to lose even more in the next financial quarter. The company's stock has followed suit, falling through the floor as Wall Street punishes the streamer for not discovering the secret to eternal growth. Gosh, who could've seen this coming – oh wait, it was me in these article intros, all the time.
The writing's been on the wall – or on this site – for a while. With more competition arriving, Netflix lost more and more of its once-substantial library month after month as other studios took their movies and TV shows back. And while the streamer loved to distract folks with new originals and eager viewership announcements, its secret backbone was comfort food watching like "The Office," "Parks and Rec" and other syndicated favorites. Netflix used to be a one-stop shop for content; now it almost entirely has to rely on people liking Netflix for Netflix content and ... well, have you seen a lot of Netflix's original stuff? Not pretty!
Toss in Wall Street's irrational demands, recent cost increases for Netflix subscribers – and streaming overall with all its new rivals – and audience numbers flattening as people's at-home entertainment needs level out post-pandemic, and you've got a streaming service desperate for answers.
How desperate? Well, they're looking at upping subscribers and revenue with ... a cheaper ad-supported version of the streaming service. That's right: The answer for this cutting-edge, industry-disrupting TV model ... is the old TV model. Why not release episodes weekly and bundle channels together while we're at it?
Anyways, surely losing more shows and movies won't be a problem – oh, look at that, here's all the stuff leaving the Dwindling Red Streaming Option next month!
May 1
"Colony" seasons 1-3
"Hoarders" season 11
"WWII in HD" season 1
May 3
"The Clovehitch Killer"
"StartUp" seasons 1-3
May 12
"Eye in the Sky"
May 19
"Rosario Tijeras" seasons 1-2
May 23
"Shot Caller"
May 31
"Battleship"
"Bill Burr: You People Are All the Same"
"The Blind Side"
"Chloe"
"Closer"
"Coach Carter"
"Dennis the Menace"
"The Devil's Advocate"
"The Disaster Artist"
"Downton Abbey" seasons 1-6
"The Final Destination"
"Final Destination 3"
"Final Destination 5"
"Free Willy"
"Hairspray"
"Happy Endings" seasons 1-3
"Happy Feet"
"I Know What You Did Last Summer"
"I Still Know What You Did Last Summer"
"New Year's Eve"
"Sniper: Legacy"
"Stardust"
"Sucker Punch"
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze"
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III"
"TMNT"
"Top Gun"
"Wild Things"
"Zoolander"
As much as it is a gigantic cliché to say that one has always had a passion for film, Matt Mueller has always had a passion for film. Whether it was bringing in the latest movie reviews for his first grade show-and-tell or writing film reviews for the St. Norbert College Times as a high school student, Matt is way too obsessed with movies for his own good.
When he's not writing about the latest blockbuster or talking much too glowingly about "Piranha 3D," Matt can probably be found watching literally any sport (minus cricket) or working at - get this - a local movie theater. Or watching a movie. Yeah, he's probably watching a movie.
